The Alarm Clock

I am not a morning person. I never have been. So it was a real
trial for me when the topology class I needed for my math major 
was only taught at 7 a.m. I was newly married and living off 
campus, and I was late to class a lot. I couldn't sneak in, 
there were only five of us in the class. Besides that, the 
professor, Dr. W, hated me. 

I was the only math major in the class; the others were all 
education majors--three women and a guy. The guy was the worst 
student in the class, much to the professor's dismay.
I was the person who broke the curve EVERY time, and solved the 
problems that no one else in the class could solve. I also pointed 
out the problems the professor got wrong. It really bugged him.
So one day when I was late, Dr. W suggested perhaps I should try 
this new fangled invention called an alarm clock.

I was working in the math department as a graduate assistant 
(mostly grading papers). One of the other students, Ginny, and I 
shared an office. She worked for the kindly teddy bear professor, 
but lucky me, I drew sarcastic Dr. W. There was no clock 
in our office, and neither of us wore a wristwatch, so we were 
always having to pop out into the hallway to see what time it was. 
I had this funky little purple windup alarm clock at home
and I decided to bring in to use as an office clock. It wasn't 
running, but I figured I could wind it and set it once I got to 
school. I put the clock out on a table, but rushed out without it 
(late again). Fortunately my husband noticed and came running after me.  

As I rode up the elevator to class, I realized I could NOT walk
into that class late yet again, carrying an alarm clock. I didn't 
have a purse with me, so I stuffed the clock into my knit cap 
and then wrapped my muffler around it for insurance. I laid the 
bundle on the desk in front of me, with my coat on top of it. 

Halfway through class the alarm went off.  And of course with it 
all bundled up I couldn't get to it to shut it off. By the time 
I got everything unwrapped, the bell had run down to clunk clunk 
clunk. I was mortified. Of course the class assumed I had done it on 
purpose as a joke on the professor--they were laughing their heads 
off. The professor, for once, was speechless--he just couldn't 
think of a cutting remark. He mumbled something lame about staying 
awake in class, to which Ginny replied, "Well you told her to get 
an alarm clock!"

I couldn't wait till lunch time to tell my husband what had 
happened. When I started to tell him, he said "then it worked?" 
and started laughing. My husband knew about my battles with 
Dr. W and he had wound the clock and set it to go off in a 
half hour or so, in hopes that it would strike while I was 
in class. It worked. It was the best practical joke ever.

c. 3/17/09, B. Riley